The Gray Goliath
by Orange Lantern Tsume
Summary: Ultimates 5 (versus the Hulk) the way I think it should have been. Some cursing and, of course, violence. R&R please.


The Gray Goliath 

By Blackheart Syaoran 

AUTHOR: Hope someone out there likes this! 

Note: Either review this to reach me or use my e-mail address (MadHatter45@comcast.net). 

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"Okay," the first cop said, "this is most definitely _not_ in the job description."  

The other officer nodded, both men staring in total puzzlement at the muscled behemoth standing only fifteen yards in front of them.  At what seemed to be eight feet tall, with bulging muscles, gray skin, a small amount of wild black hair, and wearing no clothing at all, the humanoid creature made the two law enforcers wonder if they were going up against some kind of mutant.  After all, the thing seemed like a nightmare version of the Jolly Green Giant.  

At the moment, the thing was robbing an entire truck of beer, having torn open its side.  Now, dozens of empty and/or broken bottles littered the pavement near the mammoth figure.  But, as much beer that had gone down, the creature was still gulping every drop it could find.  

Abruptly, it stopped.  Pulling its upper half from the truck, the thing doubled over and gave an almighty belch that practically rocked the area.  Then, grinning, the creature slapped the truck's side, almost playfully, its bulging muscles sending the vehicle onto its side.  From this act, the two cops inferred that the figure most likely had incredible strength.  

The first cop looked at his partner.  "Think we should bother?"  

"Nah," the other replied.  "If we don't get ourselves killed, we might wish we had.  That, and those Ultimates need to earn their paychecks.  We innocent taxpayers shell out $50 billion---I mean, _50 fucking billion dollars_---on those guys, and they just sit around!  No, those jerks need to do something to earn every cent they pretty much stole from us."  

"Shit!" the other gasped, pointing, his partner whipping his head around just in time to see the Honda before it crushed them.  

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Hulk, now drunk and still just as mad, swiftly returned his attention to the task at hand: Finding Betty Ross.  Banner needed his woman back, and needed her back _badly_.  Betty was pretty decent, decent enough for Banner, who had nobody.  Briefly, Hulk wondered if Betty would be offended by his lack of clothing, so he quickly killed another puny human and swiped the fat man's pants before resuming his search.  

It angered Hulk that Betty was with Freddie Prinze Jr., when she had a real man, Banner, to be with.  Hulk wanted to pound them both, but pounding Betty would not make Banner happy.  But pounding Freddie Prinze Jr. would, and Hulk was going to do just that.  

Squatting down, Hulk pushed off and leapt an incredible height, touching the top of a four—story brownstone easily.  He began moving, following Betty's likely trail.  Hulk knew he wasn't very smart, that Banner was the brains in this body, but Hulk was the muscle.  Still, Hulk could do some stuff smartly, like find Banner's only real friend.  

There!  In that restaurant: It was Betty!  Granted, she was with Freddie Prinze Jr., but Hulk would toss the little human easily enough, and then Banner and Betty would be together and happy again.  

Dropping onto the street, Hulk lunged across to the restaurant, screaming Betty's name in his gravely voice.  Heads turned, as much from his appearance as from his cry.  Hulk paid them no heed, though, as he dug his fingers into the building and began climbing.  

"Get away from Freddie Prinze Jr., Betty!  You're supposed to be Banner's girlfriend!" Hulk yelled as he ascended.  He could hear Betty shouting into her cell phone, but he didn't know to whom she was talking.  "Banner too much of a woman for you, Betty?" he leered.  "Maybe it's time you gave Hulk a try, huh?"  

Now Betty was screaming wilder than ever into the cell phone.  Hulk almost laughed, but settled for grinning like a lunatic.  Again, he called to his other half's former woman.  

"Hulk's gonna get you no matter who they send, Betty!  Hulk hornier than a---"  

Something abruptly clamped down onto Hulk, pinning the muscled figure to the side of the building.  After a moment, Hulk realized Giant Man was speaking to him.  

"Is that clear enough, little man?" 

Hulk was madder than before now.  No one called Hulk little and got away with it, especially not when Hulk was trying to get Betty back for Banner!  His blood began burning, and he kicked off from the building, shooting out from Giant Man's grip with a furious cry.  

Caught by surprise, the 60-foot superhero didn't manage to defend himself in time.  Hulk latched onto Giant Man's face, the sheer force of the impact sending Giant Man backwards into a building.  Giant Man took the brunt of the fall, with Hulk shrugging off the debris that hit him.  

"You always make Banner look like an idiot in front of Betty, Pym," the rampaging creature growled, "that's why Hulk's gonna crack your skull open!"  

Raising both fists for a double-blow, Hulk brought them down, as much rage as he could muster put into the hit.  Giant Man's cheekbone shattered with a loud, resounding crack, like that of a splintering tree, and Hulk grinned.  

Suddenly, something very fast smacked into him, carrying him away.  Hulk couldn't manage to twist around very well to see who it was, but now his was pissed even more.  No one snuck up on Hulk!  

"Take it easy, Jan," came Tony Stark's filtered voice.  Hulk realized Iron Man had stopped Giant Man's death at Hulk's hands, and the Gray Goliath became enraged even further.  

And then he realized something else: The angrier he got, the better he felt.  Hulk assumed it was simply because he knew he was the strongest there was, and that his anger would always make him unstoppable once he gave in to his rages.  

Jerking an arm back, Hulk elbowed Iron Man right in the chest.  The other veered wildly, and they both slammed into the front of Grand Central Station, plowing through the building material and crashing into the floor.  Filled with malicious joy, Hulk got up faster than one might have expected, and spotted Iron Man only about fifteen feet away.  The puny man in the metal suit was trying to stand, and Hulk found himself vaguely amused.  

With a roar, the monster charged the CEO of Stark Enterprises.  Too late, Iron Man looked up, doing so just in time to see Hulk's fist before the uppercut sent him flying through the air.  Iron Man smashed through the large windows, and Hulk lunged out after him.  Hulk found his opponent sprawled near a T-junction.  Upper lip curling, Hulk hefted the nearest car and threw it at Stark.  The vehicle hit the pavement and slid, propelled by Hulk's strength, and slammed into Iron Man.  

Wanting to finish the job, Hulk charged the hero again.  He wasn't going to be stopped this time, and never again if he had any say in the matter.  

But before he was halfway there, something unknown dropped from the sky and crushed Hulk underneath its significant weight.  The thing seemed to be made out of metal, and Hulk realized he had just been flattened by a tank.  Snarling, the muscled creature punched through the tank's bottom, reached in, and ripped Captain America from his seat.  

Before Hulk could pound the little man, though, the war hero swung both feet up, catching Hulk in the jaw.  Not wasting a moment, Cap cracked his fist into Hulk's nose, then pulled a football kick to Hulk's groin, then smacked Hulk in the jaw with his shield, and then did a leg sweep, knocking the destructive being onto his back.  

"You just take down _the Hulk_?" a filtered voice asked.  

Rage flooded through Hulk as Captain America responded, the Super-Soldier's words infuriating the Gray Goliath to a level never before imagined.  _No one took down the Hulk!_  

Just as Cap was about to insert the antidote, Hulk snapped up an arm and grabbed one of Cap's, halting the hero's attempt cold.  

"_No!_" Hulk bellowed.  "_Get that thing away from me!_"  

"Oh my God!" Wasp gasped as she descended onto the scene.  "He broke the needle!"  

Before the female member of the Ultimates could stop him, Hulk hauled back and smashed his fist into Cap's face with as much strength as he could.  The man's head was almost instantly buried in earth, and accompanied by a sickening crack.  

"Now Hulk gonna get Betty, and Banner won't be alone again!" the rage-fueled being roared.  

However, a different roar cut into his own.  With a crack of thunder, a powerful bolt of lightning split the sky, flashing down and slamming into Hulk's chest.  Caught off-guard, Hulk was blasted from his feet, thrown through the air, and landed in the middle of the street.  

Just as he was about to get back up, Hulk was given a powerful blow directly to the right temple from Thor.  The God of Thunder, a look of grim determination on his face, lifted Mjolnir again and brought it crashing down against Hulk a second time.  The street cracked, and some parts actually exploded, causing several vehicles to become briefly airborne.  A third blow to the Hulk, and then Thor stopped, standing over his fallen enemy with Mjolnir hefted in both hands like a common axe.  

"Your jaw is broken, your ribs are cracked and one of your lungs has just been punctured, Banner.  Have you tasted enough of Mjolnir yet?" Thor asked.  

Hulk, a broad smirk on his face, replied, "Nah.  Thor's hammer just make Hulk horny for Betty again, hippie!"  

Moving, Hulk punched Thor in the gut, causing the Thunder God to double over, the air forced from him.  Not letting up, Hulk kneed Thor in the jaw, sending the other shooting up off the street.  Before his enemy went more than a few feet, though, Hulk grabbed Thor's legs and swung him around, the two spinning almost like a top before Hulk released his captive.  Thor flew through the window of an office building, perhaps forty stories up, and didn't emerge.  

"Now try this!" Iron Man yelled, blasting Hulk from behind.  

Hulk hated sneak attacks, and vowed to make this little man pay for his!  Leaping up again, Hulk swiped repeatedly at his foe, missing each time due to Iron Man's maneuverability.  Hulk was slowly becoming angrier, his rage giving him more strength.  If only he could catch the little tin man!  

"Hulk gonna eat your brains, little man!" he said to Stark.  "You look like canned dog food, and Hulk wanna know if you taste like it too!"  

"Jan, you in position yet?" Iron Man asked sharply.  

Hulk was too focused on his need to crush Stark that he had forgotten entirely about the Wasp.  At the moment, she was crawling straight for his frontal lobe, ready to give Hulk a taste of her sting.  

"I'm there!" she said into the communicator.  

"Do it!" Iron Man barked, snapping off a couple more shots at Hulk, who now had Captain America using a chokehold on him.  

The Wasp used her sting, and Hulk let loose a terrible cry.  He threw Cap off and clutched his head, wanting the pain to just stop.  Stumbling around, the Gray Goliath dropped to the pavement, rendered unconscious from the inner assault.  

The Wasp got out of the Hulk's head, returning to normal size.  She sighed heavily, glad that the whole nightmare was finally over with.  The Hulk had done unbelievable damage to New York City, and might have done more if he hadn't been brought down.  Janet looked at the others.  

"Is Nick going to pick him up, or what?" 

"He's sending over a team right now," Cap replied.  "We'll have Banner locked up in less than a couple of hours, hopefully for good."  

"What about Hank?"  

"He's down to normal size again, and undergoing some pretty intensive surgery.  Hulk here smashed his cheek pretty bad."  

Janet pointed to Cap.  "How about you?  He nailed you, Thor, and Tony pretty good."  

Cap shrugged.  "We'll be fine."  

Janet shook her head.  "If you say so.  I, for one, am going to take a long, relaxing shower."  

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AUTHOR: Hopefully, that was some good!  

READ N REVIEW! 


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